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THE PARABLE OF THE TOO BIG TO FALL
When young women went to the river to fetch water, they would disappear.
The king’s royal beads even went missing.
People were worried. One of the wise men said, “Let’s approach Ọlọ́run to give us a police boss.”
But who could they trust? One of them must be the thief.
They decided unanimously that the only trustworthy person in the entire community was Ijapa.
Ijapa gave them only one condition: “Nobody should visit my house without letting me know in advance that they were coming.”
GENDER WAR
GENDER WAR
You naw go commot road? Abi you naw see?
Na ya papa road?
See trouble o! Becos dem buy you cellphone nau, na im make you come tanda for highway dey take call?
Na only where I stand you wan pass? You no see road everywhere?
I have returned to drinking coffee again.
I have returned to drinking coffee again.
For a long time time, I boycotted coffee.
My entire system just needed a break–coffee, alcohol, and all other vices you could imagine or not imagine–I threw away.
I wasn’t feeling good with myself.
After some six months, things have changed.
ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY 1981, (Part Eighteen)
Gina was looking at me directly in the eye as she began to turn the button that reclined the car seat. The moon came out of a clump of clouds and highlighted half of her face, as she pressed her back against the front seat, flattening it almost completely on the back seat. Her teeth, as she smiled at me, looked perfectly even, and they sparkled like diamonds in the dark.
“You are a handsome man, Uncle Mo,” Gina said. “Your mom must be very beautiful.”
“Thanks, Gina,” I responded. “My mom is beautiful indeed, but everybody thinks his mother is beautiful.”
POLICE CHECKPOINT, BENIN CITY
It was in 1980, in Nigeria, when this police encounter occurred.
I will start by swearing
in the name of Ogun
that this event, strange
as it sounds, actually happened
in the middle of the night.
They say when you want an African to tell the truth, make the African swear to an indigenous divinity—not to the Bible or the Quran. Those two books are just books. The real book that they believe and consider real is not written. It is oral, and tied to the indigenous divinities.
HOW TO DEVELOP A MUMUCRACY
HOW TO DEVELOP A MUMUCRACY
My friend in Nigeria said she is starting poultry.
She said she would just buy a couple of hens, feed them, and daily she would collect eggs from them and eat them.
“Impossible,” I said. “The hens would attack you and poke out your eyes.”
