Court was sweet in Abuja today, no be lie.

ByMoyo Okediji

Court was sweet in Abuja today, no be lie.

This is just kindergarten o.

Those that the gods would destroy, don’t they first drive them mad?

The last presidential elections were very sweet, abi?

We collected bags of rice, tubers of yams, even ororo oil, na lie?

When I was a kid, I had a funny cousin staying with us. She would sing:

Ìgbà tẹ ń gba kọ́bọ̀-kọbọ̀

Ta lẹ wí fún

Tẹ́ ẹ wá ń ṣe “Yé è yé è

Okó tóbi!”

Me, I cannot translate Oyinbo o.

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HOW MUCH? Èrò Ni Ọkọ Dídó

HOW MUCH? Èrò Ni Ọkọ Dídó

ByMoyo Okediji

HOW MUCH? Èrò Ni Ọkọ Dídó

Check the naira amount in your pocket or the bottom line in your bank account.

Has that transfer gone through?

But what does a fellow do with money that rapidly gets useless?

What do you do when a piece of paper loses its promisedvalue?

It still says One thousand Naira, but it only buys One hundred Naira worth of garri.

In the year 2019 when I left Nigeria, I brought with me some naira currency notes, stacked in one-thousand denominations.

ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY 1981 (Part Five)

ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY 1981 (Part Five)

ByMoyo Okediji

Obaseki, looked cornered. He certainly was not anticipating an encounter with me at the restaurant. His shrunken face looked collapsed with fatigue. The anxiety that he was feeling was palpable. His face began to twitch. It was bad enough when he saw me entering the restaurant. But the moment I informed him that Rufus was on his way to join us, his system could no longer handle the tension. He stood up. He patted his pockets.

“What is the matter?” I asked him. “Is everything fine?”

“Oh, I was-was-just checking my—my—my pocket. For my-my-my-house keys.”

“And is it in your pocket?”

ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY, 1981 (Part Seventeen)

ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY, 1981 (Part Seventeen)

ByMoyo Okediji

I was already tipsy when Gina screamed.

But the performance on the stage continued as if nothing was happening. Obaseki got up and went into the ushers’ chamber. I tried really hard to see what was happening at the other end of the arena, to get an idea of what was happening to Gina. I really couldn’t see her. But because Joshua, who was assaulting Gina, was wearing a white suit, he was relatively visible, next to Gina, who, going by what she wore during the day, was in a red gown. But it appeared that Gina was already on the floor, and Joshua was kicking her, as she continued to scream while it seemed he continued to hit her.

Ladies & Gentlemen!

ByMary Job

“Ladies and gentlemen, mister honorable President,” the monkey whispers in his baritone voice into the mike.

The large crowd of people fell totally quiet.

The press reported there were at least one million party fanatics stuffed into the stadium built for only about two hundred thousand.

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