WHO CAN MAKE LOVE WITH ZOOM?

ByMoyo Okediji

Artist: Emeka Okoro

Title: Portrait of Moyo Okediji in His House

WHO CAN MAKE LOVE WITH ZOOM?

The Covid 19 scourge has created opportunities and challenges.

It has confined me to my house for the last 200+ days.

I doubt I would even know how to interact with people any longer. The only time I go out is to buy groceries.

When I look out through the window, thesun hurts my eyes and I called my eye doctor.

She says I need to get out and see natural light more.

That it’s not enough to see electric light only.

Now, sometimes I jump in my Jeep and take a long drive to nowhere to listen to music and gaze at the countryside, feed my eyes with natural Vitamin D sunlight.

But the Covid-19 is scheduled to harvest 400,000 people in the US by January 1, 2021, and it has only taken down 190,000 now.

The next 210,000 people that Covid-19 will grub by the end of this year must come from somewhere. These are not just numbers.

So I’ve been using Zoom for everything.

But who can make love to Zoom?

Fela would have stated it this way:

“How man go chop sweet without commoting di wrapper?”

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ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY, 1981 (Part Twenty-two)

ENGLISHMAN IN BENIN CITY, 1981 (Part Twenty-two)

ByMoyo Okediji

“You’re kidding me, right?” I asked Steve when he said that Gina was probably in my room. He extended his bottle of beer to Rufus who yanked off the top with his teeth and handed it back.

“Why sounding so alarmed?” Steve asked. “If you asked me, I’d say let’s swap places.”

“What!” I said, alarmed at his suggestion.

“You can stay in my cold room tonight,” Steve, “and I can use your warm room.”

“Is that British custom?” I asked sarcastically.

Did he wink? I couldn’t quite tell in the dark. He said, “The British have no custom. Only Africans have customs.”

I teach now by Zoom.

ByMoyo Okediji

I teach now by Zoom.

It feels weird to sit in the studio, talking to a screen, wondering if you are not crazy.

The computer tells me the names of everybody logged into the class, listening and watching me.

But who else is with them, also watching and listening? How far will the recording of the session travel?

ON CONFUSION

ON CONFUSION

ByMoyo Okediji

John McArthur, the internationally renowned evangelist, is quoted as observing that “It is confusing to watch people demand justice by violating the law.”

What is even more confusing is to watch the law perpetuate injustice.

And infinitely most perplexing is to watch the officers of the law flout legal procedures and violate human rights with impunity.

This is why SARS provoked such hostile reception from the Nigerian community that it was meant to serve.

It is most confusing to watch Nigerian politicians loot the funds meant for the entire nation.

It is confusing to see the police refuse to prosecute them.

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