SOJA GO, SOJA COME

SOJA GO, SOJA COME

Muhamadu Buhari, the president of our terminally sick Nigeria, just did what soldiers have been doing since I was ten years old—he kicked out some old soldiers, and replaced them with some old soldiers.

Buhari kicked out Chief of Defence Staff, General Abayomi Olonisakin;

Chief of Army Staff, Lt-Gen. Tukur Buratai;

Chief of Naval Staff, Vice Admiral Ibok Ekwe Ibas;

and Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar.

Buhari then conscripted Major-General Leo Irabor, Chief of Defence Staff;

Major-General I. Attahiru, Chief of Army Staff;

Rear Admiral A.Z Gambo, Chief of Naval Staff;

and Air-Vice Marshal I.O Amao, Chief of Air Staff.

In the name of ruling the country, soldiers have been terrorizing Nigeria for more than fifty years when they staged their first coup on January 15, 1966.

Since that fateful day, they have ruled with a nor-be-me-born-you-I-will-fuck-you-up attitude.

Sometimes they try to camouflage and deceive the Nigerian people by changing their khaki uniforms for agbada.

Obasanjo, Buhari and countless others have pulled off this camouflage stunt.

They think we didn’t notice the change of dressing.

(Fela sang, “Yunifom na klot, na telo dey sew am”).

They really should not have bothered to camouflage: Nigerians are so desensitized from the constant terror unleashed on them that they now have an adonkia attitude.

Most Nigerians, exhausted under the constant yoke of their oppressors, have adopted a pami-n-ku (kuku-kee-me) way of life.

The soldiers, therefore, did not see it coming when Sunday Igboho dealt them that uppercut at Igangan, last Friday.

It is clear that these soja-go-soja-come officers trained in India, Salisbury and America are only good out there in obodo land.

Once they reach Nigeria, they do ajuwaya with all the obodo training: I blame the isi-ewu pepper soup and Gulder that they serve at the officers’ mess for making such a mess of their obodo training.

If I were Buhari, I would name Sunday Igboho the head of the Nigerian military. Igboho did not go to Salisbury, yet he is the commander of the people’s army in the southwest.

I swear Jagunjagun Igboho can chase the Boko Haram out of Nigeria within six months.

This Buhari style of changing old soldiers with old soldiers is just turenshi.

It reminds me of Simi’s song:

Soja go, soja come

Soja do wettin you wan do

But don’t fall in love with me.

After you have raped us for more than fifty years, soja, we are no longer afraid of you.

We know who our real soldiers are, we know those fighting for us, and those who are just terrorizing us.

Long live that mister whose name deceptively sounds like the day people go to church.