1925-2018

ByMoyo Okediji

1925-2018

He almost made it into 2019. I wonder what stopped him.

The last of the soft kleptomaniacs and kleptocrats?

In his days, politicians stole in hundreds of thousands of naira. Or a few couples of million naira.

They were soft kleptomaniacs and kleptocrats.

Now we have hardcore kleptomaniacs and kleptocrats.

They steal in billions of dollars.

I don’t know if I want to say Alhaji Shehu, Rest in Peace.

All I can say is that well, despite all the money you folks steal, I can’t believe death can still take you.

Wole Soyinka, in a song, called you, “Share-the Gari.”

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A HISTORY OF THE YORUBA NATION

A HISTORY OF THE YORUBA NATION

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Who are the Yoruba people?

A mayor of the British army, Alfred Burdon Ellis, who served in West Africa for about two decades, published a book about the Yoruba people in 1894, the same year that he perished of malaria fever.

He wrote the following in the book:

“The territory now inhabited by the Yoruba tribes is bounded on the west by Dahomi, on the south-west by Porto Novo and Appa, on the south by the sea, on the east by Benin, and on the north by the Mohammedan tribes from the interior, who have within recent times conquered and

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“Iya Oyo,” I asked, “why call her Ọmọ Méji? Ọmọ Méji means two children but she is just one person.”

This was after a woman who looked like she was in her thirties, who was on her way to an errand, stopped by Iya Oyo’s house to greet her.

Iya Oyo looked at me with surprise, as if to say my mother should have given me such basic cultural education.

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TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

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My friend called me that they scammed her of $750 last Monday.

After listening to the story of how they scammed her, I realized it was the same syndicate that scammed me in 2019 that scammed her last Monday.

As a Nigerian, I consider it a disgrace to be scammed—after all, I belong to a country that is notorious for always winning the Olympic gold medal in the 419 game.

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TABLE

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I once visited a rich single lady living in a gorgeous house with the most amazing furniture.

After we ate, I felt relaxed and we started a great conversation, with expensive wine served in elegantly shaped goblets.

That was when wahala started. The expression in her eyes changed. She became slightly alarmed.

“Would you mind not placing your leg on the table?” she requested softly.

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The French Medussa

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Artist: Moyo Okediji

Title: The French Medussa

Medium: acrylic on canvas.

Date; 2018

In 1810, the French government launched a bad-ass naval frigate, the Méduse, rigged with 40 guns. The Méduse participated in the Napoleonic wars, and also dabble in marine raids off the coasts of the Caribbean, before departing in 1816 for Senegal on its ill-fated trip for which it became notorious.

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