Which organization is yours?

ByMoyo Okediji

Me: Which organization is yours?

We have been stopped and checked by at least four different organizations, with different uniforms, since we left home and started our trip to Ondo some 30 minutes ago. But your uniform is different from those worn by the other organizations that stopped us.

Man in uniform: We are Fi-ai-oh.

Me: Fi-ai-oh? What is that.

My friend traveling with me: (Interpreting for him). He means VIO.

Me: What is VIO?

Man in uniform: We dey inspect fehicles.

Me: My vehicle needs no inspection. It’s fine.

Man in uniform: Your particulars sir.

Me: My particulars?

Man in uniform: Drifer’s license.

Me: Drifer’s licence?

My friend traveling with me: (Interpreting for him). He wants to see your driver’s license

Me: He says he inspects cars. Not driving licenses.

Man in uniform: I dey look efrytings.

Me: (Handing over my Texas driver’s license to him). Here.

Man in uniform: Oh. You lif in America, sah.

Me: Yes.

Man in uniform: Sometin for me, sah?

Me: What?

My friend traveling with me: (Interpreting for him). He wants you to give him something.

Me: What? Bribe him? For what?

Man in uniform: Not bribe, sah. Just anytin for di boys sah.

My friend traveling with me: (Interpreting for him). He is asking you to give him some gift.

Me: Darn. I’m not giving him anything.

Man in uniform: Isorite sah. Happy weekend sah. (He waves us on)..

Me: Thanks. You have a great one, Fi-ai-oh officer.

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THE PARABLE OF THE TOO BIG TO FALL

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When young women went to the river to fetch water, they would disappear.

The king’s royal beads even went missing.

People were worried. One of the wise men said, “Let’s approach Ọlọ́run to give us a police boss.”

But who could they trust? One of them must be the thief.

They decided unanimously that the only trustworthy person in the entire community was Ijapa.

Ijapa gave them only one condition: “Nobody should visit my house without letting me know in advance that they were coming.”

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My mumu is too much.

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My mumu is too much.

Hear my story o.

They just fixed the electricity at my place in Nigeria.

To get it fixed, I bought four poles, and hundreds of yards of cable.

I contributed hundreds of thousands of naira to get the transformer.

I bought the meter.

And paid to have the entire thing installed.

But I understand that none of these things that I bought belongs to me.

They all belong to the government.

The results

The results

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Through careful calculations using the Ifa computer system, we produced a clear forecast of the results of the presidential elections.

It was a long and tedious process that included calculating the situation state by state, before doing an overall analysis.

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THE RAFTER’S BURDEN—the English translation of Oladejo Okediji’s AJA LO LERU is out

Three days before his transition, my father, the Yoruba writer Oladejo Okediji, had only one worry: “Akanbi,” he told me, “make sure you work with Sola Owonibi to get Aja Lo Leru translated and published.”

I was suspicious. “We are already working on it,” I said. “You are worried we won’t do a good job?” It was another hint he gave me about his impending departure during that last call. And I did not miss it.

“I’m just saying,” Baba said with a dismissive laugh. “I would love to read a good translation of the novel.”

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