HOW TO DEVELOP A MUMUCRACY
My friend in Nigeria said she is starting poultry.
She said she would just buy a couple of hens, feed them, and daily she would collect eggs from them and eat them.
“Impossible,” I said. “The hens would attack you and poke out your eyes.”
THE BIRTH OF RAINBOW
One of my earliest memory is that of both my parents standing me up and inspecting me up in detail. They were worried I was not masculine enough.I was too thin and supple, even for an infant boy.Every evening they made me consume a powdery substance called CASILAN. I have googled Casilan and found that it is a protein used by bodybuilders to build muscles.
AJÁ AND ÀGÙNTÀN
In the olden days, Aguntan, the sheep, was the most respected animal in the entire Yorubaland.
Aguntan was the embodiment of Iwapele (gentleness of character), suuru (patience) and iforiti (perseverance).
The entire world decided that Agutan was the best fellow to be crowned the king because of his wonderful character.
They made Agutan the king, and the world was happy and prosperous.
The Yoruba people comprise of several tribal units, each speaking a different dialect of the Yoruba language.
There is Yoruba literature, which has developed a large body of writings including novels, poetry, critical writing and essays.
Yoruba is studied in universities all over the world, and you may get a Ph.D. in Yoruba studies, one of the very few indigenous languages in Africa in which you get a doctorate.
Yoruba music is rich, with various genres both traditional and modern.
Can someone help me to translate this into as many Nigerian languages as possible, please?Many of the boys I played soccer with in Ile Ife on bare rough grounds in-between houses, using oranges and rags tied together to form balls, all the way from infancy to age ten, were Igbo kids.In 1965, they told me they were leaving, returning home.“When are you coming back?”“Papa says we are not coming back.”
It saddens me.
It saddens me a lot that the southern people are not able to understand the urgency of the situation they are involved in.
Those you call the Fulani herdsmen, or the Fulani people—they are the Taliban.
Please read the last line again.
Those you call Fulani herdsmen are the Taliban.
TOKYO OLYMPIC
Mcheew.
Prince Dennise Osadebey–Czechoslovakia.
Sikiru Ayinde Barrister– Iceland
Sunny Ade–New Zealand
They thought Nigerians won no gold medal in the Tokyo Olympics that ended last week.
They don’t know what they are talking about.
How many gold medals did Nigerians win in the last Olympics?
Lots and lots of gold medals.
Scammer: Hello, how are you doing?
Me: Very good. How about you?
Scammer: I’m fine, thanks for asking. how’s your day going so far?
Me: Excellent. Who are you?
Scammer: I’m Susan, from Idaho but currently living in Jacksonville Florida. I’m a registered nurse working with the UN nations overseas.
Facebook suggested you as someone I may know so I viewed your profile and decided to send you a request out of curiosity hoping we could get to know more about ourselves and maybe become friends.
Me: That’s great. Where are you currently working overseas?
When young women went to the river to fetch water, they would disappear.
The king’s royal beads even went missing.
People were worried. One of the wise men said, “Let’s approach Ọlọ́run to give us a police boss.”
But who could they trust? One of them must be the thief.
They decided unanimously that the only trustworthy person in the entire community was Ijapa.
Ijapa gave them only one condition: “Nobody should visit my house without letting me know in advance that they were coming.”
GENDER WAR
You naw go commot road? Abi you naw see?
Na ya papa road?
See trouble o! Becos dem buy you cellphone nau, na im make you come tanda for highway dey take call?
Na only where I stand you wan pass? You no see road everywhere?
Once upon a time, the Ará Ọ̀run known as the Egúngún visited Ayé for the first time and saw Ará Ayé, known as Ènìyàn or human being, for the first time.Ará Ayé also saw Ara Ọ̀run for the first time that day.Intrigued by the appearance of Ará Ayé, the Ará Ọ̀run the Egúngún wanted to take Ará Ayé back to Ọ̀run.But scared of the colorful attires and striking sculptures of the Egúngún, Ará Ayé began to run when the Ará Ọ̀run approached.
Once upon a time, a tick and a dog sat together on a green field.
Quickly, the tick buried itself inside the skin of the dog and began to suck the blood of the dog.
The dog, feeling dizzy from the loss of blood, wanted to remove the tick from its skin, but the tick invited the other ticks on the field to join in the blood-sucking feast.