THE TRIAL OF CSI

THE TRIAL OF CSI

Those Yoruba people who have swallowed àjẹsárá, like CSI: be warned.

Our diligent state security will find you.

You are carrying concealed dangerous weapons inside your entrails.

Your trial will go this way:

STATE PROSECUTOR: May I draw the attention of the court to the X-ray pictures of the defendant’s stomach. It shows images of ayeta, òkigbé, àlùwó, ṣubúṣeré and myriads of other violent weapons being amassed against the state. How do you explain the presence of these weapons inside your stomach?

YOU: My lord, these are not weapons. They are just items of ìfura.

JUDGE: You will have to vomit them for forensic analysis.

YOU: But my lord, they cannot be vomited until the day I die. Then they will naturally emerge from my stomach. The Bororo is allowed to openly carry AK47 and they are not bothered….

JUDGE: This is the problem with you southerners. Are you a Bororo? And besides, because they carry weapons is not an excuse for you to do the same. Which Babalawo gave you these weapons?

YOU: He disappeared during the raid of Igboho’s house and has not been seen since.

STATE PROSECUTOR: My lord, to prevent the defendant from magically disappearing from prison custody, we have hired our own babalawos as the prison guards. One of them is in court. (He points him out in the court and he stands up).

YOU: Ha! But this is my babalawo too. We are using the same juju man!

Conclusion: the state is now buying scanners to examine the stomachs of the offenders. Don’t say you were not warned.